ConfuzeD

2010-01-15T03:27:00.002+08:00

done!!!
i had uploaded my birthday picture!
hehe..
enjoy!!!
had a great time though the celebration isn't a big one
but mum promised that she is going to make a big one for me like a chalet or something..
am honored for that..
ahaskz..
well..
received presents..
will take picture of it..
and upload it later..
sorry to upload it late
as had been busy with work and no time for blogging
*when actually wasting the time in MSN & Facebook..
oopsz!
sorry diary!!
hehe..
didn't forget u..
its just that am lazy to type..
and furthermore, if i have no mood, i shall not diary..
=]

adios..

turned 20 =]

2010-01-12T23:39:00.002+08:00

happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me..

hehe..

its my birthday and i turn a year older..
now im 20..

gosh..

time flies so fast that i can't believe im 20!!

hehe..

well..

had a bdae cake and am surrounded by my cousins and auntie uncles..
had a blast though its nt a big celebration..
juz a normal one..

weeee....

mom gave me a hug and a kiss all over my face..
and she keep hugging me like something is amiss..
hopefully its just a stupid feeling..

all those kisses and hugs and declaration makes me woke up..
'cos for the first time ever i felt like as if its sincere and came right down from her heart..
am really touched..

thank you mum..
im really am happy on my bdae..

but im sorry..

deep down feel sad too..

in exactly 12 days from now its going to be dad's 8th year death anniversary..
time does past by fast..
am really sad..
couldn't believe its that fast..

now im just praying that he is ok..

i think i better end it here before i get too deep wif my feelings and cry..

2010-01-08T00:25:00.002+08:00

.....

sheesh..

im really am confused on whats going on..
could someone please tell me the truth?
im sicked of all the pretense and games..
it hurts you know?

haisz..

till when am i going to stand all this heartthrob..
am i destined to feel and faced all this?
but till when is all this going to end..
i have patience limitation people?

gosh..

does people even realized that i have feeling like them..
but why are they all treating me this way?
have i ever hurt them or say bad stuffs bout them to others..
no! totally..but why are they doing this to me?

argh..

please..
don't make me hurt u even a second?
'cos i bet u its going to hurt deep down in the heart..
so,please don't force me to do things that i don't wish to do?
'cos that's not me totally..

seriously..
now the only daily routine i always do is
-work
-family
-alone

i know..
it sucks right?
but i can't do anyrhing
i just don't want to be hurt nor hurting anyone anymore
i just want it to flow by itself

if really there is love for me out there
i am sure if it meant for me, it will come to me
but,for now i don't want to find love
instead i want love to come and look for me

sometimes i do admit that flashbacks do happened
and that sometimes could make me cry till i fall asleep
but i can't simply do anything
cos that's just the way they want it to be

but have anyone paused and do a soul search?
have they ever have that thoughts that along the way in their life they are hurting others surrounding them?
especially their loved ones?

i know i do..
but sometimes it happens for a reason u know?

im sorry to have lie my way through
but, like i say, i don't want to hurt anyone anymore
if really there is an explanation to be done
please ask me..

for now my life is work and family..
i guess that's the only way i can busy myself without thinking of being lonely..

confusion wana dissapear..

2010-01-06T02:01:00.002+08:00

please tell me what is happening..

Ya Allah..

sesungguhnya hati ku lemah..

Bantulah diri ini untuk cekalkan hati ini untuk menempuhi semua ini

Ya Allah..

jika ini adalah jalan yang harus ku lalui demi untuk mendapatkan cinta sejatiku..

aku rela Ya Allah..

biarlah titis demi titisan airmataku jatuh berguguran..

kerna hanya airmata yang dapat membuat hatiku tenang..

jika benar dia menyintaiku, ku berharap semua ini dapat membuktikan kepadanya betapa

aku benar benar menyintainya..

cinta yang terbit dari hati ini benar benar hanya untuk nya seorang..

walau apa pun akhir cerita ini akan ku tabahkan hati..

kerna aku percaya semua ini ada penyebabnya..

Ayah..

maafkan adik ayah..
maafkan adik..
maafkan adik kerna titisan demi titisan berguran selama ini..
anak ayah tak setabah yang ayah inginkan..
tapi ayah, percayalah..adik telah buat segala yang termampu sebelum gugurnya airmata ini..
adik rindukan ayah..
maafkan adik kerna sentiasa menyebut nama ayah dan menangis setiap kali terkenang akan diri ayah..
namun usah ayah risau kerna adik selalu berdoa semoga ayah ditempatkan dengan orang orang yang beriman..
bantulah adik ayah..
berikan semula semangat dan kekuatan adik yang telah ayah bawa pergi..
cukupla selama hampir 8 tahun ayah membawa ia pergi..
pulangkanya pada adik ayah..
maafkan adik sekali lagi ayah..
maaf..

2009-12-30T02:19:00.002+08:00

*staring at the screen not knowing what to blog in today*

too many things happening right now..
aint sure where to start..
my head and my mind is in total blank right now..

sheesh..

gosh...

dont know what am i supposed to write..
had been staring the screen for a looong time..

haisz..

i guess better not confuse my mind deeper..
let just end it here..
guess i will not blog anything for today..

2009-12-26T04:36:00.001+08:00

You are my Love you are my Life
I love you so much, will you become my wife
You are my love this I say is true
And if you say yes I will then marry you

We walk through the beach our feet caress the sand
You then turn to kiss me like no other can
Our time is so short so we must use it well
This is our story that our children’s children will tell
So let not this night end for it is our time you see

This is our story that our children’s children will tell
So let not this night end for it is our time you see
Our night to sing and dance our night to be free

You are my Love you are my Life
I love you so much, will you become my wife
You are my love this I say is true
And if you say yes I will then marry you

Resources frm :
Omotayo Oluwaseun

2009-12-24T05:04:00.002+08:00

this post i write specially for my lil cuz Areen

Areen,

i know i had been busy with my work and stuffs lately
i just hope you understand my situation
but one thing i want you to know is that
i will never forgets you where ever i am or whatever i might be doing
'coz like i said, you are one of those who are dearest to me
thus don't ever have that thinking okay?

don't worry cousin..

we are going to meet up soon and catch up with things okay?
am really missing you too..
now my life is going haywire at the moment
i just need time to settle everything up

i hope you are enjoying your balance school holidays which are only 2 weeks left if i am not mistaken?
Good luck to your future endeavors and studies cousin
and i want you to remember one important thing..

that i am always there in your heart no matter where i am or whenever it is
even if i am no more alive

i will always love u

by the way bout the lesbian thingy, it was just a joke cousin
hopefully you are not taking it seriously

can't wait to see you soon cousin!!

and as January drawing nearer
it makes me losing myself..
i hate January!!!

sheesh..

i guess i am going to end it here cousin

see you this weekend for the religious festive aite?

missing you and loving you,

ema

2009-12-24T04:47:00.002+08:00

You are...
the reason I don't want to go to sleep at nights
the reason I want to wake up at mornings
my inspiration for getting through the day
the reason I dream even while awake.
the voice I crave when I'm having a bad day
the friend who I call when I just want to play
the heart that I speak to when my secrets are told
the body that warms me whenever I'm cold.
the voice of reason when I'm losing my head
the lady I will always welcome in my bed
the hands I will hold when I just need a friend
the woman I'll go with unto the end.
the epitome of love...the best that there is
the reason I know that love exists
the reason I want to believe in it
and the reason I just want to say

Angels are beautiful, but your beauty is the kind that every angel dreams about
They say that beauty is within the eye of the beholder, but the way I look at it, TRUE beauty is within the heart of the beholder

Love is,
when i saw your picture then i think of moon because its moon that brighten the night , when i think of you, I remember the brightness of the sun, Do u know that the beauty in ur eye its more brighter than the sun that it radiate and put smile on my face even when am far from you.
I miss you.

By,
Omotayo Oluwaseun

2009-12-21T04:27:00.000+08:00

Some people won't believe in you;
they won't encourage you
to follow your dreams,
but you must always believe in you,
no matter how long the journey
ahead seems.

Some people will be jealous of you;
their words will be sharp and unkind,
but you must close your ears
to such words,
and never allow them to change
your direction or your mind.

I'll always believe in you
and encourage you
to follow your dreams,
and I'll try my best to show you
that the road is never
as long as it seems.

I'll always cheer for you;
my words will be warm and kind,
because I truly treasure you.
You own a part of my heart,
and you're always on my mind.

resources/idea by : Omotayo Oluwaseun

2009-12-19T01:09:00.002+08:00

sometimes i don't get it why this is happening to me
i really wish i know what's the cause of it
im tired of all this keep on repeating again and again
am i really destined to face through all this again?

im tired and sick of it!!!!
couldn't u guys just leave me alone peacefully?

i couldn't believe u read my blog when your friend told you about my blog
couldn't believe that u thought that i was talking bout u!!
guess u overreacted?? too bad there weren't any names specified!!
u even leave comments on my blog!!

sheesh! you are one big Slutty childish girl..
oopsz!! i forgot!! that ur still YP!!
wahkhakhakha..
fuck off girl!!!
your just wasting my time!!

btw too bad for u any your friend i had change my Blog website
wahkhakhakha!!
idiots! i relly don't know what to say

i was really shock to know that u called my lil cousin just to talk to me??
gosh!! and u talked to her with no manners at all
i don't mind that u didn't talk to me wif disrespect but damned it
all those vulgarities and swearings u said to me i will just take it
but i believe one day u will get ur retribution
just wait and be prepared

who do u think u are girl?? ur just an Immattured child!!
still needs your family to support your daily expenses!!

gosh.. i hope one day the trut will be shown to u
on whose fault is it
just don't be ashamed when u get to know its entirely not my fault at all

but looked girl..im nt scared of your threaten that u give me
"walk straight and don't look back,beware!"
sheesh.. tell me, how many people u want to send to beat me up or threaten me up??
bring it on girl! I'm not scared at all..

wahkhakha..
mark my words. if an inch of my skin any of u or your people being touch without my consent, untill the last straw of your breathe i can bet with u dat u will not have a peaceful life!!
take note..ooh oopsz! i forgot..
u don't have my new website address..
so if by chance u get to my new blog, just take note k?

2009-12-18T03:23:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when I take a look
at the hectic world around me,
I feel confused,
but all of the noise fades away
and I forget my worries
when I think about you.
Sometimes I feel ovewhelmed by life,
and sometimes I don't know what to do,
but everything suddenly feels right
when I hear your voice,
and see the light shining in your eyes
I can't stop thinking about you.
You're always on my mind like a favorite song.
And I want to express how much I love you,
but how can I begin to tell you how much joy
you've brought to my life?
i love you so I never knew that I had
so much beauty within...
a beauty that was born the day we met and
grows like a wild vine,
entwining my heart to yours.
You've awoken something grand inside of me,
which I never want to part with.
I don't know what the future holds,
but I can promise you that I will give you
every ounce of love that this heart possesses
to the very last breath of my being.

By,
Omotayo Oluwaseun

ps: thanx for the love quotes. am actually touched..

2009-12-18T02:16:00.002+08:00

I can't believe it
in 37 more days its going to be Father's 8th year death anniversary
how time flies so fast
i couldn't even feel it past by me
days past by, followed by month, followed by years
haisz..

Daddy, this post goes specially for u

Daddy,
u wana know sumthink? i miss u soo much Dad.. That it hurts.Here,deep down in my heart. I wish ur still here with me,going through the days together.
i still remember those days back then when we spent our days together. Go fishing at Changi Beach. Or visit Grandma. Or those days that u have to returned to work and i tagged along.
since Christmas is coming, i remembered those days when i followed u to your workplace and was given lots of presents by your dear colleagues! And it was Chocolate!! my favourite!! hehe.. =] and when we reached home brother akways fights with me over the chocolates saying u were unfair 'coz u wouldn't let them have some!! hehe =] and u say its because they are lazy to follow u and whoever follows u and given the choolates belongs to them alone. wahkhakha =] serves them right for being lazy!!
Then those days where u would bring me to your workplace. There's one incident which makes me laugh each time i recalled it. Remeber there's this one particular day when u pillion me on the back of your bicycle? Then there's this small hill u got to cycle through in order to reach your favourite fishing spot at your workplace?
u were panting and there was a canteen beside the hill? Suddenly without warning we both fell off the bike?? And eveyone at the canteen which saw us started laughing?
And i started crying. Because of what? Pain as i hurt my knees and embarassed that they saw us falling..And u say don't bother bout them. ahaksz.. how u really knows how to comfort me daddy..
i really miss u dad.. miss u sooo much that sometimes at night it makes me cry. And left with no choice, i cry myself to sleep. that's the only way i could make myself go to sleep. im sorry daddy. i know u don't like it when each time i cry. but i can't help myself. that's the only way i could think of to make me nt to think of u too much other then pray for u.
just be by my side whenever i need u k? and do visit me in my dreams soon 'coz am really mising u badly. Please i beg u. and one last thing dad.
U would always be number 1 in my heart and my love for u will never fade and that noone could replace your place in my heart.
your the BEST daddy in the whole wide world. Your too good that i coulnd't asked for more. May u rest in peace daddy..

lots of love & missing u badly,
adik..

FCUK oFF From My Life

2009-12-14T02:53:00.002+08:00

damned it!!!!

enough is enough!!
im sick and tired of all this k??
i have my patience too!!

if u dnt know what happened or how it goes from the start then don't just make any accusations as u please!!
coz it makes me mad girl!!

im not dat heartless person at all!!
if i am i wouldn't be in the first place asked ur BF to stay true to u!!
coz for ur INFO he have feelings for me right from the start!!

BUT!!!
i told him straight to the Fcuking face to STOP the Fcuking feelings 'coz i respect u as my gender and as his GF u BI*&H!!!
n in the end u give me that cold treatment???

WTF!!
when in the first place i don't even know where u get my number and suddenly u called me asking who am i and when i know who you are, u give me that Fcuking attitude!!

LOOK!!
ur juz an IMMATURED girl who is still growing up though we are the same age!!
too bad ur just plain childish!!!
too conservative!!

GUESS WAT???!
If u are reading this blog by chance, DO A SOUL SEARCH!!
go and change urself and ur Fcuking attitude if u want ur relationship to run smoothly girl!!coz let me tell u this!!

GROW UP!!
damned it!! first its ur friend!! now u??
congrats to me i guess??
wooooHooooo!!!!!
nice one!!!!

FCUK OFF!!!!
i hate accusser!!!
who doesn't know what actually happened and suddenly just bullshit!!
GET LOST!!!

2009-12-03T03:45:00.000+08:00

Song Lyrics | Secondhand Serenade lyrics

2009-12-03T02:21:00.006+08:00

dis song is nice..
i love it..
given by someone special
asking me to listen to it..
n damn!! im enjoying it!!

2009-11-29T05:51:00.008+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWmu1DWEhE8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoBdt9L_DPA">
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqU2WXKcUb0">

dis song is given to me by someone special
n the lyrics really have a deep meaning into it
sheesh..
i really don't wana hurt anyone
i really don't wana all this hurtfull things happening
i wish i can do something bout it
am juz feel like a useless gerl who can't do a thing for her happiness!

damn it!

i wish a miracle could happen
i just hope that i would have just enough strength to go through all this test given

damn!!!

i need a miracle badly!!

2009-11-27T17:57:00.002+08:00

am really wondering
what's gona happen to my life?
im really in a daze right now

sheesh

im going to explode soon
with all this nonsense surrounding me
can't i have a peaceful life?

haisz

i wish i could just dissappear
or just get far away from all this
i really need a break from this

damn

can i just be given a break?
before i go bonkers?
am really tired with all this

sheesh

can i just lead a peaceful life?
what else must i do to be left alone
i have done what i should so why am i still here?

haisz

enough of all the heartbroken am getting
i just need a break
to put the pieces back together

damn

am really heartbroken now
just wana be left alone to mend this broken heart
i dnt wish for all this to happen!!!

2009-11-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

abg

warkah ini ku tuliskan khas untukmu seorang
4tahun kau menghilangkan diri
selama 4tahun itu juga aku mencarimu
namun apa dayaku..

dengan secara mengejut kau menghilangkan diri
dengan secara mengejut juga kau muncul kembali
betapa tak terkata hatiku ini dengan kemuncullanmu
namun tak ku sangka ia hanya buat sementara

pergilah abang jika aku penyebabnya
pergilah abang jika aku akibatnya
pergilah abang jika itu pilihanmu
pergilah abang jika itu membahagiakanmu

usah ada rasa belas kasihan kepadaku
kerna aku sudah lali dengan semua ini
ini lah sebabnya mengapa ku takut menyayangi
kerna akhirnya aku ditinggalkan pergi

abang

hanya satu adik pesan
jagalah diri abang
adik kesal kerna adik penyebabnya
maafkan adik abang
tapi adik rasa ada baiknya jika abang pergi tinggalkan adik
biarlah adik disini seorang
mungkin semua ini ada rahmatnya
akan adik redha dengan semua ini abang
pergilah dengan rela dan ikhlas adik lepaskan abang
cuma 1 adik pinta
izinkan adik mendoakan kesejahteraan abang dari jauh k?
mungkin jika ade rezeki, akan 1 hari bertemu kembali
namun buat masa kini, pergilah

mungkin disana abang akan ketemu kebanhgiaan abang??
lagipun pernah suatu ketika abang pernah menceritakan betapa gembira
dan tenang berada disana.lantas pergilah abang..
semoga satu hari nanti akan ketemu lagi..
jaga dirimu baik baik ya..
dirimu akan selalu diiringi doaku..

2009-11-19T03:52:00.002+08:00

NumB
that's what i'm feeling right now
can't take it anymore
it hurts 'till i can't even feel the pain in me
what is wrong with me?

what have i done to deserved all this?
am i really fated to have this kinda life?
its really a nuisance
i'm reali shreck with all this nonsense

isn't all of this painfull enough for me to handle?
im am so going to collapse or would have a seizure soon!
damn it!
what is really happening right now in my life??

my heart aches every minute of the day
it feels like as if its gona burst n shatters into a million pieces
do i really deserved all this?
i really wonder what big sins have i done that i get all this

but heck!
i musn't be weak!
i must prove that i can still go on
life must go on!!

damn!
im getting crazier each day
guess all this is really wearing me down
as days past by its sapping my energy away

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aREEn

be cool
maybe all this that happens i agree with what u say,
all this happens for a reason

i don't blame anyone at all
as long as they are happy then

BEAT IT!!!

i too wish him all the best
hoping that he would be able to rebuild his family again
from afar i will pray for him and his family
Amin

that's all i can do now
all those things i have done isn;t sacrifices areen
all that are things that i have to do

its like a task being send to me
and i have to complete it
no big deal

i would only be left with a shattered heart
but no worries, it will soon heal
no matter how long i believe 1 day it will

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

for now, im feeling
-numb
-confused

healing my heart......

2009-11-18T00:34:00.002+08:00

wooohoo!!!

can't believe this is happening
damn ya!
i guess its true what people always say,
"No use doing good things to others, 'coz they don't know how to appreciate it"
& its true i guess?

bwahahahahaha!!

well..
1 word..
"WHATEVER!!!"
as long as your happy, then beat it!
i don't give a shit anymore!
my job is done & now its up to you
wether to carry on with whatever is in the past or not

bwahahahahaha!!

guess what?
now what i know is that i don't wana be involved with anything..
just buzz off
i would just pray that your happiness would last 'till eternity
just leave me alone
let me have a peacefull life
after all this , i really need a time out

i wana find my true self
i guess this is it
i have had enough of all this

now i wana rest my mind..
i wish i can dissappear..

2009-11-17T16:42:00.004+08:00

Part 1 (asking areen to type it for me via sms! hehe)

I'm not that mean , I'm not that cruel.
If I am , I wouldn't take initiative to do all this for them ..

I don't wanna to be labbelled as a 'home-wrecker' ..
I'm not that selfish !

I know where i stand and what is meant for me or not meant for me .
I'm really happy ..

This would be the happiest day in my life ,,
Knowing that the couple that I'm helping is getting back together .

Really wanna see them as one big happy family .
I'm not doing this for myself but for the sake of their daugther .

I don't want the baby girl to grow up without a perfect family ..
This is the least thing that i could ever do for them .

If i could change all my goodness for the sake of seeing their family to get together , i don't mind sacrificing without having a second thought ..

I'm so happy that I'm having tears of joy .
I could only pray for thier happiness and togetherness to last forever ..

I wish all those bad memories, would soon be forgotten by them ..
I don't want the bad memories be the reason stopping their happiness ..

For now this is my future :
- to work,work and work
- to earn my bike license
- to save up to continue my study
- to do soul search
- to get closer to my family members especially my cuz !!

I think that should be all .
Hear from me soon !!!!

2009-11-12T14:02:00.004+08:00

HaPPy 51st Birthday to mak

11 November 2009
Yesterday was a really joyfull n successfull surprised birthday for mak
was really happy to see her happy spending time wif her siblings n family around
didnt know dat the event really turned out well,was really happy.i guessed its all worth awhile.hope i could do it yearly basis.i just wants her to be happy.thats all that i could wished for her.my house were really full of my uncles,aunties n cousins.
the noise pollution we are making were heaps man!but den its just once in awhile. so it doesn't matter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12 November 2009
Was a really fucked up day n F***ing day for me.am really angry today.but what can i do other then bottling it up?i have no choice but to swallow everything thats written to me.that's the only way.im so used to bein ignored & treated like a stranger.coz i know, since childhood i wasn't needed n wasn't planned.i wished i wasn't even exists in this world.i didn't even ask to be born into this world.
Till when am i supposed to suffer?it really hurts deep down.could all this be stop?
im really hurt.am really shocked,mad,sad & devastated on the incident that took place awhile ago.couldn't belief that its happening to me.wow.am i really a burden?
all those vulgarities u said to me, i will remember.All those beating up that u give me i shall remember.The spit u give me, i shall not forget it.u treat me like a rag. u beat me like a punching bag.when the fact is ur my own brother! Do i even deserved a brother like u? Do u even deserved to be called a brother & be respected as my brother?i don't think so.Dn't u forget.All those that u have ever done to me, i had been bottling it up.i still have my patience. But remember!Every patience have their own limit! Just don't cross the line. Don't say i didn't wrned u.
Don't worry.i will get out of this home soon.i will leave. wouldn't that would make this family happier & livelier?isn't that what u guys wants?my dissappearence.
Furthermore why must i cling on, when noone even bother to acknowledge my presence.
im used to bein my family ventilator.its a normal thing for me.
i guessed this is just my luck.i accept it.but i just need a fren who could listen to my cries & sorrows. But non is available.F***ed!!!

2009-11-10T00:17:00.008+08:00

wat am i really doin wif my life rite now?
im really stuck in the middle of the road
trying to find the right path to continue my journey

i really need strength to overcome all the obstacles
im just a human bein dat have a limit in my patience n strength
but seriously all dis is wearing me out

i feel like as if im a ball being kick everywhere as they like
WTF.i have feelings too!!
i just need to be understood n feel my existence

is dis really how my life gona be?
im juz disappointed wif myself for not bein strong enuf to face all dis
as days past by,i notice im becoming more weak

2009-10-30T01:19:00.003+08:00

aku sendiri berdiri memandang ke dada langit
mengharapkan cahaya bintang dapat membuat ku sedikit terhibur
aku tegapai seorang diri didunia ini
mengenang nasib diriku sebegini
entah bila akan datang kesudahan cerita dukaku
aku benar benar kecewa
tiada kata kata yang dapat menggambarkan perasaan ku tika ini
aku benar benar terkesima dengan apa yang berlaku tika ini
bagai tersiat siat hatiku tika ini
berderai airmata ku mengalir laju jatuh ke pipiku
namun tiada siapa yang dapat memahami perasaan ku tika ini
aku hilang arah
ingin saja aku memekik kepada dunia
ingin mangatakan betapa diri ini rasa benar benar bodoh!
aku menyintainya sepenuh hatiku namun akhirnya aku kecewa sendiri

benarkah kata pepatah?
"kita jangan menyukai dan memuja seseorang berlebihan.sayangkan diri dulu."
"hanya sesaat untuk jatuh cinta,seminit untuk menyayangi,
hanya sehari untuk merindui..tapi selamanya untuk melupakan"

memang benar kata kata itu
aku mengakuinya sendiri kerna merasainya tika ini
hatiku sebak,hatiku gundah,hatiku meraung kesakitan!

adakah ini kesudahan cinta kita?
jika benar, aku hanya mampu berdoa agar dirimu dapat mengecap bahagia tanpaku
namun izinkan aku menyimpan seribu kenangan kita bersama untuk selamanya
izinkan aku merinduimu dan menyayangimu dari jauh
aku tidak ingin melihat mu dihimpit rasa kecewa dan disakiti
lantas aku membuat keputusan untuk melepaskan mu pergi kerna itu jalan yang terbaik untuk melepaskan mu dari kesengsaraan ini

namun ku pasti
hatiku akan mengambil masa yang lama untuk mengubati hati yang luka ini
apakan daya,aku hanya manusia biasa yang lemah
namun ku cekalkan hati untuk tabah mengharungi liku liku hidup ini
semoga Allah memberiku keizinan untuk melalu hari hari ini dengan penuh keceriaan
aku ingin mengubati hatiku ini
biarlah beribu mengetuk pintu hatiku
hanya akan ku buka bila ku benar benar bersedia untuk menerima orang baru
jika tidak aku hanya akan menyendiri meniti hari
mungkin itu yang terbaik
kerna aku tidak ingin menyakiti hati seiapa lagi
biarlah aku seorang sahaja yang menanggung semua sensara ini
kerna bagiku ini semua tk perlu ada yang merasa
biarku seorang memikul dan merasakannya

aku sedar diriku tidak sempurna
aku sedar diriku banyak cacat celanya
aku sedar diriku tidak sehebat mana
aku sedar diriku tiada keistimewaan
namun aku bersyukur

tika ini aku terasa bagai ditusuk sembilu
nyilu rasanya dihati ini tika ini
biarlah aku bersendiri merawat luka dihati
inginku cantumkan kembali hatiku yg terluka

2009-10-28T16:29:00.000+08:00

When a GIRL is quiet , millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing , she is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions , she is wondering how
long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds , she is not at all
fine.

When a GIRL stares at you , she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest , she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday , she wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says ' I love you ' , she means it.

When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' , no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ....

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

2009-10-25T02:39:00.003+08:00

im reali confused wif my life rite nw
wat am i supposed to do reali?
is my life destined to be this way?
i just wish i know wat to do
but im still here stuck not knowing wat to do

all this is reali wearing me down
all my energy had been washed down the drained
y is all this keep happening to me without non stop?
i really can't take it anymore

i juz hope all this would end fast
'coz i really am tired of all this
i really hope all this would have an end soon
i really hope

why are you doing this to me?
what have i done to u that u give me this cold treatment
u msg me or looked up for me whenever you feel like it
i have feelings too
u can't juz simply carry on all this to me
couldn't u feel the love i had been shpwering to you all this while?
are all my love, care & concern all is given without any appreciation?
am i even be appreciated by you?

could u recall in 1 of our talks that i ever told
"if ever u can't love me anymore, tell me straight?"
remember?
what have i really done to u that its a big deal that i am supposed to get this?
do i even deserved all this?
are u trying to make me feel a slow pain that would eventually leave a mark?
if that is what u want, i shll say u can stop
'coz u hv successfully done it
congratulations!
im really dissappointed in myself for allowing all this hurt me deep down
if hurting me is what u want , u have done it perfectly!
now i wonder big time
wether all this while your love to me are sincere or just fakes?
were u just merely using me as a passer by
or juz be attached to me to kill time?

i wonder what am i supposed to do right now
should i let u go?
hold on?
im confused!
i really hate the feeling im feeling right now deep in my heart!
millions of tears had been used
but do i regret?
no!
to me all the love,care n concern i showed u are sincered
but are u?
i really wish all this wouldn't have happened
im really dissappointed!devastated!

my broken heart that i had been trying to put it together into 1 piece backed, is shattered to a million pieces again
when will i ever able to have the chance of having a full heart?
im just like u
have feelings
but do u even realised what u had done to me?
all i notice is ur ptting all the blame to me!
when in fact its both party that should be blamed
nevertheless
thanx
no matter what u had done to me
don't u wory
i don't hold any grudges towards u nor am i angry
but let me tell u the truth
not only u who had lost trust on me
even me myself had lost trust on u!
& thats the most important element in a relationship!
if really all this things happened is trying to tell us that we had nomore other ways to compromise
then i shall tell u this
that its going to be a ruthless journey for me ahead in order to forget u

2009-10-22T00:44:00.002+08:00

its reali been a long time since i blog
im reali feeling tired rite now

too much politics in werk
reali makin me stress
e politics doesnt bother me
but as it involves me it reali pissed me off

too many things happened at hm too
haisz
im reali tired of all this
will there be an end soon?

if theres isnt den its gona kill me soon
or its better for me to dissappear?
or invisible?
i aint sure
wats the best way?

i wan sumtink dat would make everyone happy
that would allow noone notice im dissappearing
coz i dnt wana people to think im weak to faced up wif all this
its not dat im weak
its juz dat im tired of all this
enuf is enuf

i tink i better stop here
before dis blog is full of Obscene werds

2009-10-13T22:44:00.002+08:00

i had been so hectic wif werk rite now..
damned its reali tiring
but wat to do
i hv to
in order to get money rite?
well..
now im stressed wif things in my hand
i dont noe wat to do
now i cnt even feel my own heart nimore
it seems so vulnerable dat its in hazed
i wish i noe wat decision i must make
love is reali comlicated n mysterious

at 1 part i miss him
on the other hand we often quarrels n fight
i wish all dis could stop
i juz wana things to be like the first 2 weeks we were together
i miss those moments
in 1hrs time its gona be our 1year anniversary
damned
time flies so fast dat i didnt even realised it at all

i reali love him but the obstacles we goin through reali makes me think
i dont wana put him in a spot where he will be hurt n stuffs
i juz wana loved him,care for him and make him feel bein loved

i dnt wana lose him..

but i juz dont wana him to get hurt..

i wish u can feel my heart right now baby..
im missing u deep down..

happy 1yr anniversary to both of us..
14october2008

2009-10-09T00:50:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i blog..
hd been bz at werk..

starting today hd to werk 16hrs = 2 shifts..
wonder hw it will feels like..
damned!maybe its gona be tiring??
hehehe
but hell ya!
if dis is hw e job goes like den y not i gv it a shot

but frankly speaking politics there is damned cruel!
sheesh
if u doesn't noe how to stand up for urself,ur gona be make used off
or ppl will juz simply take advantage of u..

k la.. dats all i cn blog..
will be blogging soon..

2009-09-29T21:24:00.006+08:00

syawal menjelma..
takbir kedengaran..
rindu menghantui lubuk hatiku..
kegembiraan menyelubungi diriku krna brjaya brpuasa sebulan...
namun
kesedihan juga menghantuiku..

rasanya syawal kali ini aku benar2 kecundang..
apa nasibku?
dugaan dari mu sungguh ku tak terkata..

titisan demi titisan airmata ku berguguran
namun ku akn tabahkan diri mengharungi dugaan ini..
mungkin ade hikmahnya?
biarlah aku merawat luka dihati ini sendirian..

buat masa sekarang aku ingin mencari arah yang benar..
arah yg diterimamu.
berikanku keizinan..
amin

2009-09-21T01:20:00.002+08:00

syawal comes..
another festive month..
well..
the day were juz like previous hari raya day where its nt happening..
it feels different wifout our loved ones..
i pray for my late dad,grapa n grandma hopefully dey r bein put together wif those who are loyal to Allah n loved by Allah..
amin..
k la.. gtg..
blog again soon

2009-09-15T01:27:00.002+08:00

Well..
started my work again after 3 days resting at home..
men!!
it was chaotic i tell you!
they miss me!!
hehe..
awww..
how sweet..
hehehehe..
was hyper active today at werk..
my face was full of smiles for everyone today..
dnt ask me i myself aint sure y..

Syawal coming near..
guess in a few days time happiness shall arrive..
i really hoping for dat..

2009-09-15T01:27:00.001+08:00

Well..
started my work again after 3 days resting at home..
men!!
it was chaotic i tell you!
they miss me!!
hehe..
awww..
how sweet..
hehehehe..
was hyper active today at werk..

2009-09-13T15:40:00.002+08:00

i wish i noe wats dis feelin i had rite now
but it seems dat i myself cudnt even describe it..
i wish i cud tear my heart out n erased e hurtful feeling away..
y am i feelin diz way

sumtymes i doubt me existence in this world is purely useless
i cnt see the reason y i must be here..
wudnt it be better if i juz dissappear?..
it wud make a less burden for others

hw foolish i am to juz accept all this
wen deep down i noe im hurt..
but i keep on taking in all the hurtful feeling..
cud i stop all this now

isnt there sumthing dat i cud do??
im hurt..
tears keep pouring dwn wifout stop..
im helpless

2009-09-11T20:29:00.002+08:00

damned..
wake up wif sore throat n flu..
lots of flams in me..
hate it tons!!
till i blow out blood..
damned it!
am reali sick rite now!

wish u cld be here wif me rite nw..
am missing u badly..

well..wen to the poly and was given 2 days mc..
hahaksz.
cool..
well will be back to work on monday..
gona miss my colleagues..
or shall is say its e opposite?
hehehehe..

2009-09-08T01:27:00.000+08:00

hmmph..
its been 4 days since i started workin..
ooh did i mention im werkin at singapore flyer?
well..
its a nice experience im having..
though its quite tiring.,.
i guess its worth a while..
tired but still am happy to do e job..
i always put dis in mind to make me driven..
"dnt work for the money,but work for the experience ur gonna get"
n i belief its true..
coz if u werk for the money den u wont get the thing..
get wat im trying to say??
well..
im sure my cuzzins would be lookin for me wen i get my pay..
am i rite gerls??
heehee.. :)
hari raya is cumin up..
cant belief dat..
hmmph..
well..
i guess this hari raya is gona be like the past few years raya?
its uesless wen we r spending our raya wifout our dear ones around..
its bad enuf they r gone..
haisz..
well..
dats it for today i guess..
write in ya soon

n baby.. im missing u sooo much rite now

2009-09-03T19:58:00.006+08:00

today was my 1st day at werk..
weLL my posting was at Singapore Flyer..
make new friends..
n the job is quite ok..
reali hd e wrong impression bout the job..
but now..
i dnt gv it a damned wat others think bout the job..

sayang..
im glad to noe dat u still luv me..
tanx baby..
i still luv u too..
i reali hope we could do sumtink bout our situation..
bt den again we hv quite a long way to go..
i reali dnt wana hurt u nimore..
i wish i cn turn back tyme n erased all e pains that i had given to u..
but baby..
dat cudnt be done no matter wat..

sayang..
i dnt noe if u notice..
but if we didnt break up,it wld be our 11month baby..
its such a waste..
i wish we didnt break up..
it hurts..
i reali miss u soo much..
i miss havin u by my side baby..,
ur luv for me..
ur care concern n everything else..
it makes me feel so wanted n loved..

my mistakes..
i wish i didnt do it..
im reali sorry baby..
i juz nid another chance..
will u gv it to me?
a last chance??

2009-09-02T02:38:00.001+08:00

do u noe hw much i reali luv u?
u were my everything
my heart n soul
ur name is in my heart beat
i love u baby
i noe i had been hurtin u soo much
dat u cnt bear nimore
im reali sorry
but i juz wana u noe dat losing u would be a big blow for me
plz..
dnt eva leave me..
i reali wana be wif u goin through ups n dwns tgther baby
i love u baby

HaPPy TeacHeRs DaY!

2009-08-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

HaPPy TeacHerS Day!

well..
i went back to BGSS n met my teachers..
its been 3 long years i had seen them..
miss them all badly!
ahaksz..
few of them says i look different..
they say i had slim down a bit..
*winks*
reali meh??
i myself aint sure bout dat..
but had a reali fun tyme gettin to mit them..
we exchange lots of updates bout each other..
n the smiles i manage to put on their faces makes my day!
and as usual i was the most chatterbox!
dats one thing about me dat will never change!
hehe..
atleast it was a gd thing rite?
hehe..
atleast that keeps the atmosphere lively!!
reali miss their teachings..
i even teased them dat i miss their scolding and lecturings!
ahaksz..
damned!
i miss school sooo much!
then went to geylang serai wif soup n jamban!
hehe..
my 2 good fwens!
wen there to hv a window shopping n tell u its sooo crowded!
n hot!!!
damned that reali ticks off the patience we had for our fasting..
k la..
i tink i better stop here..

aku kecewa

2009-08-30T00:16:00.003+08:00

aku tak faham kenapa ade orang dengki dgn aku..
ape salah ku padanya?
padahal aku tk jaga pun tepi kain orang..
buat baik salah,buat jahat pun salah..
manusia kadang-kadang tak bersyukur dengan ape yang mereka ade..
mulut orang,tiada siapa boleh tutup..
kecuali mulut tempayan..
da berapa kali orang gila tulis number aku kt dalam bus..
bingit seh..
tkder keje lain pe?
haisz..
penat aku tukar num..
biarlah Tuhan aje yang balas semua ni..
aku tahu aku tk dengki ngan orang..
malang nasibku..
Alhamdullilah..
itulah yg emak ajar padaku..
biar orang buat kita jangan kita buat orang..

2009-08-27T22:54:00.004+08:00

Do u feel me lovin u?
Do u feel me touchin u?
Do u feel me wantin u?
Do u feel me honestly lovin u?

But i do have diz fear
Fear for lovin u
Fear for wantin u
Fear for losin u

Let me love u the way i do
Let me love u juz the way u are
Let me love u wherever u might
And let me love u for the rest of my life

Do u feel me lovin u?
Do u feel me so close in ur heart?
Do u feel me missin u so much?
Do u feel me lovin u honestly?

This is the only thing i wanted to
And please dnt take it away from me
Do u feel me lovin u?
Coz i really do!

berkecai berjuta kepingngan

2009-08-22T04:13:00.002+08:00

malang sungguh nasibku..
hatiku berkecai..
inikah dugaan yang harusku tempuhi??
ku juga punyai hati dan perasaan..
namun..
entahlah..
aku bingung dengan masalah demi masalah menimpaku..
terutama sekali keluargaku..
sampai bilakah harus ak bersabar menempuhi semua ini??
aku punya kesabaran..
namun kesabaranku ada tahapnya..
hingga bila??
aku kesal dengan diriku.
aku kesal kerna aku maseh jg begini.
nmun aku percaya satu hari nanti akan ku buktikan pada semua
aku boleh berubah.
hanya masa akan menentukan segalanya..
hanya kesabaran pendampingku.

2009-08-07T01:34:00.003+08:00

benar ke selama ini aku menyusahkan mereka semua?
ape dosa ku hingga sebegini tohmahan yang kau berikan..
aku akui dirimu memang abangku..
namun..
pernah ke kau mengangkat tanggungjwab mu sebagai seorang abang selama ini?
tak!!
lantas mengapa baru sekarang kau pertikaikan dirimu sebagai abangku?!!
mengapa tidak dulu tika arwah ayh pergi menyahut seruan illahi??!!
lantas tak adil rasanya jika kau menyalahkan ku seorang diri!
dimana dirimu tika aku memerlukan kasih sayang dan sokongan seorang abang??
tidak pernah aku merasakan walaupun secubit kasih darimu..

aku tidak punyai sesiapa untuk mengadu nasib..

ayah..
hanya pada dirimu aku rapat dengan..
aku berkongsi semuanya bersamamu..
tiada sekatan antara kita..
namun lepas dirmu pergi buat selamanya dirik kesepiaan..
ayah..
kau membawa separuh nyawaku..
walaupun 7 tahun telh berlalu..
namun ia terasa bagaikan baru semalam..
aku redha kepergiaan mu...
namun..
aku kesepiaan dimuka bumi ini ayah..
diriku masih ingat..
seminggu sebelum kepergiaan mu
dirimu menceritakan ku bagaimana 'terjadinya' diriku..

ayah: adik nk dgr cerita tentang adik tak??
aku: nk!
ayah memandang mak..
cutenyer ayah bila baring diatas peha mak..
manja!! ahaksz..
aku: cepatlah yah! tk sabar ni..
ayah: kk.. 5 tahun lepas dpt along.. ayah tanye mak..
mak nk anak lagi?? mak angguk kepala tanda setuju..
tau tau mak ngandung.. ayah cakap kt mak.. ni mesti anak perempuan..
sebenarnya mak kalau boleh tknk anak perempuan..namun demi cinta mak pada ayah..
mak teruskan juga ..

sebenarnya..ayah cakap mak tk suka anak perempuan..
entahla..
dari kecil hingga umurku 12..
aku rapat dengan ayah..
ketiadaanya memburukkan lagi perhubungan ku dengan keluargaku.
aku tidak rapat dengan mak mahupun kedua dua abgku..
banyak perkara telah ku cuba untuk merapatkan hubungan bersama merek namun tidak berhasil.

abgku tidak pernah bergurau dengan ku mahupun berbual dengan ku..
kita hnya berbual bila perlu..
entahla..
bagaikan ada tembok besar yang menghalang kita untuk menjadi rapat..

dalam keluarga ini..
aku bagaikan tempt kelurgaku melepaskan geram..
mula mula aku boleh bertahan..
namun lama kelamaan aku memberontak..
sikit demi sedikit aku keluar dari kepompongku..

aku tidak betah lagi menanggung semua ini..

jangan risau wahai abangku..
apa yang kau inginkan akan aku tunaikan..
dari dulu dirimu tidak sukakan keberadaan ku disamping keluarga ini bukan??

janganlah dirimu risau..

tika kau menghalau ku keluar dari rumah ini, aku menerimanya dengan hati yang terbuka..

akan aku tunaikan keinginanmu..
percayalah..
tapi berik sedikit masa lagi..

bukan aku tidak ingin menghormat mu sebagai abang ku..

but..
do u deserved it??
i dont tink so after all wat u hv done to me..
enuf is enuf..
after all.. i hv feelings too.

2009-08-05T03:52:00.002+08:00

sebetulnya..
aku keliru dengan hidupku..
tk pasti apa sebenarnya yang harus aku lakukan..
hati ini benar benar terluka..
sampai bilakah hrus ku tahan semua perasaan ini??
aku juga seperti yang lain..
punya perasaan hati..
kenal erti sakit..
namun aku tetap dilukai..

mengapa selalu aku yang patut memahami perasaan mereka??
susah sangat ke nak faham perasaan aku??

retak demi retak aku rasai..
tk terlarat rasanya jika ini berlarutan untuk masa panjang..
aku juga punyai tahap kesabaran...

aku hnya pinta difahami..
bkn dilukai..
cukuplah..
hentikan seksaan ini..

aku tk terdaya lagi..

aku terkesima

2009-08-02T23:11:00.002+08:00

a wise man said
'life is never fair'
'life is full of surprisess'

Im reali dumfounded.
Aint reali sure wat i must do..
Wat Decision must i take..

Im reali confused..
Am i doing the right thing??
I myself aint sure..
i reali was hoping dat dere wld be light shining on me to show me the right path dat i must take..
But heck!!
Guez dats juz my luck??

Am i destined to face trials afta trials..
Im reali tireD..
Im juz afraid i cld collapsed anytime..
Its too much for me..

2009-08-01T21:12:00.002+08:00

apa yg berlaku tika ini?
tika ini kikirank bercelaru memikkirkan benda yang berlaku di sekelilingku..
entahla..
aku sendiri tdk pasti apa yang sedang ku alami sekarang..
aku pasrah dengan dugaan yg diberikan.

namun setiap insan ada tahap kesabaran..
sama seperti ku..

apa yang harus ku lakukan ?
keputusan apa yang patut ku ambil??
aku keliru..

dugaan demi dugaan melimpahku..
aku kebuntuaan..
aku tidak tahu apa yang seharusnya aku lakukan ..

aku hanya mampu menghadapi semua ini..
ketabahan yang patut ke hadapi..

Damn!

2009-07-19T03:43:00.002+08:00

im reali confused rite now..
is diz wat reali meant for me?
im stuck rite now..
in the middle of the road withe two passage
ahead of me waiting for me to choose the chosen
passage im supposed to carry on my journey wif..

is this reali wats writen for me?
all this is reali making me dread..
im like forcing myself to still carry on..
wen is all this gona end?
will there even be an anding?
i hope so..

i juz wish that theres a light soon..
to show me the way im supposed to carry on my way to..
haisz..
damned it!

now im juz praying..
hoping an end would come soon..

2009-07-18T00:06:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i blog..

hurmph..

had been bz..

now im confused bout the way my life is going..
aint sure wat i reali have to do..

tried looking for jobs..
but it seems hard since recession is ongoing..
damn!wen wil our economy gets better??

intention of continuing study on the next level can only be dreams..
haisz...
mum disapproved of me having dat thoughts..
typical thiking she have..
cant blame her though..

now..

aint doing anything..
bored to death..

bangun pagi, mandi, jaga adik sedara (baby-sit) den makan, suap die, den watch tv wif hym (cartoon of coz!)n wen he slip i slip too! hehe..

den mlm after my aunty fetch hym i have the whole night to myself..
dats where i do my own stuff..
but normally play my bro DS hehe..
LUCKY ader DS lau tk boring la hidup ni..

im confused wif my life..
tk tau aper patut dilakukan..
haisz..

am reali missing hym sooo much..
aint sure wat i reali have to do..
now im juz following the flow..
i wish i noe what should be done..
im reali confused..
its all in the dark..
aint not letting anything out..

hurmph..

damned

2009-06-24T18:54:00.002+08:00

they say nothing on this life is perfect
my past is history
you are the direction i follow
when i feel like i cant go on you tell me to go
i stand still untill you take my hand
when i am with you i get weak in the knees
cause you have the effects on me
i cant think straight but yes im ok
i miss you!
they say nothing in life is worth living for
but i disagree
my past is history since the day i met you
you stayed by my side
through all kinds of weather
everything you say
everytime we kiss
i get weak in the knees
i cant think of anywhere i would rather be without you by my side
this is my lesson
everytime i see you
everytime we kiss
evertime im without you
my knees weaken
my palms sweating
my heart breaks but you let me sit back as you stole

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

do you believe in love at first sight that to strangers have some spark between them?
believe that there love can last forever? believe that god put them on this earth to found each other ? believe in what your heart want . it usually knows best once you have known best one you have found love you dont want to lose it?
you want to keep it forever.once you fall in love then no one should mess it up always.allow your heart to listen to what is telling you. dont telllet the lustof this world interfere with your relationship because it can kill your love for each other. always trust the one you are with. if you dont have trust then wat do you have?this is your one life. live it to the fullest! live,laugh,love,trust and know ur heart.i forget wat my heart is telling me untill the day i found you. i love you and i always will forever.!!

you are everything to me

2009-06-24T18:45:00.004+08:00

you are everything to me
you are the stars in the night time sky
the light i see when im in the utter darkness
the smile set upon my face
that never seems to leave me
the sparkles in my eyes
the beat to my heart
the air in which i breathe
the sun in the morning sky
the reason im still here
and so much more
without u im nothing
you make me feel like im woth something
you have no idea how much i love you
you dont know what i would give upp for you
you are the only one that i want and need in my life
you are my everything and so much more than that
I LOVE YOU..

everything i do, i do it for you

2009-06-15T17:08:00.002+08:00

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

By: Bryan Adams

i've heard the song..
i've understood everywords..
but still..
to me dats too much..
it aint worth it..
im just a plain jane..
im just a gerl next door..
i've gt NO special qualities to be proud of..
im not trying to hurt you..
but, that's the fact!
i don't wan u to have any regrets..
i don't wan u to be hurt by me..
you've put in too much hope on me..
im scared..
coz' its too high and too much for me..

its not what u tink..
it hurts wen i see ur teardrops wen i brought the matter of making you promised me dat u would continue on with your life if ever suddenly i dissappeared out of ur life..

i Look into ur eyes - and i see me
What i mean to you
i Search your heart - i search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

im telling you tell it's not worth tryin' for
i can tell u it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into my heart - and u will find
There's nothin' there to hide
i took u as what u r - ur life is not worth dying for me
I would give it all - I would sacrifice for your future
making sure u will continue with ur life if anything happen

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for your future

watz the point?

2009-06-15T16:31:00.000+08:00

im reali not sure wats goin on wif my life..
im not sure even on wat im doin..
i wish i noe wether the decisions i made are right..
im ConFuseD..

why is all diz happening to me??
what did i did to deserved all this??
im juz like others..
with feelings..

but it feels like as if im juz being steeped on the head without having the slightest thoughts that im a human wif feelings.

DAMN!!

they are juz HearTLeSS..
do they even have the slightest thinking that the world goes round and dat watever we do to others one day we might get the feel of it or even worse??

i wish i could knock some sense into them!
but haisz...
im juz a nobody..

im juz hurt deep down..
i wish they could juz noe wat im feeling deep down..
but too bad..
they juz dont bother bout it..
and wats important to them is hurting others!

wat is the point of doing all this??
wat is it that they want out of this?
'dignity'?, 'fame'?, 'respect'???

2009-06-08T15:25:00.001+08:00

Kubukan asa..
Untuk cinta..
Berilah aku satu jawaban..
Akankah cinta itu datang..

Mutiara hati..
Tertulis dalam lantunan puisi..
Hanya kau yang dihati..
Tiada yang lain..

Bukalah sedikit hatimu..
untuk ku beri permata hatiku..
Hanya pada kasihku..
Dan itulah kau cinta sejati..

Jangan kau pandang daku..
Dari banyaknya materi..
Dari indahnya luarku..
Tapi dari hati..

Karena ku butuh cinta..
YAng setia..
Yang menerima..
Semua kekurangan..

Dan jangan permainkan..
Semua cinta yang ku beri..
Karena aku tak kuasa..
Tersakiti lagi..

2009-06-08T02:59:00.000+08:00

im
Glitter Text @ Glitterfy.com
aint sure wats my feeling rite now..
im reali confused..
till wen am i gona allow dis prob hurting me??
till wen am i gona let all diz happen to me??
till wen am i gona let them hurt me deep down..

im CONFUSED
am i doin the rite thing?
am i reali lettin diz to be done on me??
am i gona keep shut and let it carry on??
i aint sure..